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The Fear and Stress of Infidelity

The internet is packed with advice and checklists of symptoms regarding marital infidelity. Ideas about how to spot a cheater, the signs they may display, evidence that may present itself, and so on.

Once that seed of doubt is planted in your marriage, complete confidence and trust in your partner is all but destroyed. If you’ve ever felt the need to search for a list of clues to catch a cheating spouse, you are already experiencing this breach in trust. Whether your concern is valid or not is a separate issue, but once the confidence that exists between a couple is broken it can not be easily or completely restored.

Over time, the suspicions grow and cultivate in your mind, and the unending barrage of questions are constantly scrolling passed your mind’s eye. This doubt will eventually lead to stress, acute anxiety and even possibly some kind of mental paralysis. The cheating partner, however, is not immune to this stress, but often may experience an equal or larger dose of it from the constant need to lie and keep track of the lies behind a false shroud of decency and commitment.

The Faithful Partner’s Perspective

Fear is the root cause of all anxiety, especially fear of the unknown or of matters out of one’s control. When someone begins to suspect their partner of being unfaithful, it presents a breeding ground for confusion, anger and raw emotion, which can compromise rational thinking. The faithful partner may feel insecure, disappointment, anger, and a general unease.

The Cheating Partner’s Perspective

Anyone participating in an affair will have to consciously lie to maintain the illusion. First usually the small “white lies”, then later larger and larger ones until the lies have become so dependent on one another that the situation becomes a house of cards.

The cheater will hide evidence of involvement with another partner – hiding receipts, overly protective of their phones and computers, seeking privacy for phone conversations, and so forth. When a cheater tells lies to cover up the truth, this brings fear and anxiety into the picture, always fearful of the truth being discovered.

How Should This Cycle Be Stopped?

The cheater: Leave the lies and mistrust behind and drop the fragile fantasy. The only way to resolve and reconcile is to come clean and end your involvement with the other party.

The faithful partner: Confront your partner about your concerns. The only way to eliminate the natural fear of the unknown is to remove the unknown part of this equation. If your partner refuses to admit infidelity but you have sound reason for believing otherwise, consider employing the services of a competent and well-trained private investigator who can help you discover the truth.

At Graves Investigations, our most important obligation to our customers is the delivery of honest truth. Sometimes it may be relieving, other times painful, but the truth is always best, and our commitment to that never wavers. By exploring various avenues and gathering verifiable and documented evidence, we can help you discover the truth behind the lies. For a free consultation, contact us today!

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